its really affecting mi....freaking misunderstanding.

all i could say was..


i really didnt stalk you....

i really didnt go around telling pple about us...



tat time....i was recuperating...
i nv stalk..

being a friend...
i jus ask the pple tat is near u to take care of you...but of cos...i dun go around doin tat too..jus happen when i tok to them....they tell mi "oh jess will be ther" kind of thing....then i jus say..ok...help mi take care of her....Anything happen to her..jus call mi ba"

i nv ask them to report to mi wher you are....



and...i really haf no idea wher you are....unless its a wed or a fri nite...


u were clubbing?


all jus rough guesses...




pple tat noes....some jus ask mi hw is mi and u...


cos recently we did qurrell...and u cried in Studio...

wasnt in a good shape too....

and...

i came back to dance...


they were shock...

and they ask if mi and u are ok...

i jsu say broke up....

some of them onli noe tat u wanna go back to church..

no more le....


the onli pple i tok to was yen min orange....

they are the ones tat noe wats going on clearly....




the rest..jus noe...we broke up...



and..really...broke up broke up...nth to shame abt....


no one will think bad abt you de....

ur friends will still be ther for you...


we broke up so wat....i have no reason to do tat....

so i can get back at you?....so everyone will hate you?...

think of it.....if i do tat....everyone hates you....and you cfm hates mi...why shdl i do tat?

but i guess....well u assuem i did all this....and....ya...nw...you hate mi nw..





all i jus wanna say......


i really really didnt stalk you.....and nv ask pple to stalk you.....and nv go around telling pple tat mi and u broke up..and for watever reason.....



i stand on my own feet......

i nv go around staggering liek a injure dog...and beg pple for foood.....or beg pple to show care and concern.....or wan pple tp show sympathy....


i guess....u really misunderstand mi this time..



most of the time...i chance upon you nick...

being so upset...emo...

i noe u are way better now then you are wif mi....
jus tat....i jus wanna care for you as a friend...

wanna be ther jus in case.....


maybe i will jus walk away since u do not need this friend le...
...


as much as i wanna stay ther....and care for you....keep a distance but still look out for you

as much as i really wanna be ther....jus for anything....


but i guess... if i do tat.....you would get more irritated ?.
....you would hate mi more..
adn you will assuem i stalk you again...
rite?



well....your words hurt mi.......

everyday....

i jus haf to put on a mask....to face my friends....

to act as happy as i m.....show tat i aint feelign anything no more...

to show tat i m moving on

i nv tok to them about you....

cos i noe.....if i m them...i will get irritated le...


in frotn of min min, yen yen, von....my batch pple...

fake mi...i hate myself for this.



i m liek spilted into half...

part of mi wanna stay....but dun wan you to come back....


part of mi jus wanna move on....but we remain friend liek von and yen..

but ya....friendship...cant be force....

i haf the rite to choose my friend...
but you haf the rite to reject..


and....

i nv even dare to think i haf a huge impact on u....

i guess to you...i m nth....well you say it.....

to mi....
ya...i really gt no impact on you...

really....

i didnt think highly of myself..

you noe hw low is my self esteem

you noe hw i see myself as....

i m freaking nt confident and becos of tat i feel freakinf stress when we are tgt...

the amt of stress.....jus build up as days goes by.....no money...no money...no money....

the stress jus bounce back...and every day i jus get frustrated and worse....

i guess tats y...i throw all my freaking tantrum on you...

for this...i m sorry.....did think back....and i feel disgusted on hw i m treating u...

no wonder....you wanna leave mi....

no wonder you dun feel the love anymore...

i guess....i m a bad lover...


m tire.....


i haf hurt you wif my words too...

cos...

at tat time....
it really pissed mi off...


cant you see....


you are liek a flame....

dancing in a cold winter nite....

pple tat are near you.....
they get the warmth....
they are happy...and they appreciate it...

some do show a smile on their face....some jus haf no expression....but inside them...they feel the warmth...they thank you......


but once they get freakign close to u...
they get hurt burnt.


they hate you....

they ran away....before their clothes catches fire and they get scalded more...


well....maybe this is hw i think of you?...



you are great....really....you haf a good heaart....

since the 1st day i noe u....

i always tot omg..u are really a frog from a well...
dont even go for brand...
btu i m happy u see....cos i noe...you are easily satisfied....

but i guess i spoilt u...i guess marcus did spoilt you too...

yup....pple will change...i noe you will change...

but sorry to say...

pple always change to become someone better..


haiz...i hate myself...i hate nite....

i jus hate being alone in a quiet nite....

cos....

i m still thinking abt you...



was looking forward for the rite chance to tok to you....
rite nw....no matter hw much i explain...

you still picture mi as JOyve tat purposely do a lot of to you jus becos to get back at you or wat ba..


i nv been so close to someone....really...thanx for the time...

you make mi realise...the happiness of being in love...and giving love....having someone tat care for ......and being cared by someone......

i m not smeone hu show hw i feels....but i really grateful.....thanx for everything.....










Have i really lost you as a friend?

jus becos of this misunderstanding?

i dunno....

all i know...i treasure you a lot...