Love Blinds PPle?

hmm...


i have been thinking....

why do they say love blinds pple up?


cause...u freaking hell don't feel or care about wat ur family is goin thru....

cause...u freaking hell don't feel or care about wat ur friends are goin thru....

cause...u freaking hell don't feel or care about wat ur lover is goin thru....

cause...u freaking hell don't feel or care about urself!!


yeah...selfish...


this is how i and when i m in a relationship.....


now......looking back...

ther so much freaking hell things tat i haf done......

tats so....horrible?

feelingless?...


wat is this??....


i noe myself that i m not like that...

not tat i don't wanna admit....

I...M......REALLY......NOT LIKE THAT!!....



i really love her....

but....i dun no hw to love her any more...

i have so much things in mind...

things tat i wanna do....


things tat i wanna achieve....

the goals...


without her its like someone who has lost one of their senses....


but other sense will get stronger and shaper.....


i guess...
this is wat i need to do.....


well...

i dunno....


thoughts is coming back...


she falls.....

do i need to cushion her?

a part of mi really don;t wan any one to hurt her..


another part of mi....

jus wann alet her learn sumthing by falling...

and also...

i m in pain....too painful...




finally...i asked ann to let mi dance in a girls cheoro...

and even request to let mi sing...

=)...

she say she no prob....



i need to push myself....

if not...

nth is goin to work...

arghhhh...


jus get out of my way.....



i give up already.....


pls....let mi go!...



i jus wanna dance.....

i jus wanna work....

and help steff to make her company a successful one....




arghhhh.....................


thinking of doin army....


its a big leap of guys........a bigger leap for mi...hahaha



welllll...

jsu see abt it.....


right now.....


think of wat i really wan in life....

think of my parents...


she....is nth....in the long run......



i cant accpet her...


i love her.....

i really love her...

but...

i really cant accept her anymore....

well...say i m selfish....

but if cant commit...

then i m nt ready to put in everything....

even the trust...


i will always be there......to protect her liek i use tooo.....


so many wrongs i have done in this relationship.....


well...
its the past...
rite....

u noe...the relationship...wouldnt last...

nv will it.,....

JJ BD

i don't dare to look at you..

acted there u aint ther....



i guess....looking at you...brings i back to the starting point..

being greatly in love with you again



i don't wanna let you know i still loving you...

when u left the BBQ....my heart sank...

i couldn't turn back....and wave as you are leaving..

i could only sms you

i don't know....


i have nothing to talk to you anymore....

really..


nth...




maybe...now..

you are out ther....


finding your right guy....



datin them...


seeing u wif other guys...

make mi hate them even more...

make mi heart hurt even more...



back to usual self....

addicted to sad songs....

songs tat says....

all the broken relationships.....

well...


aiiii.....

carry on....

she isnt coming back le....

u haf to be improving.....

i noe...nth could make u come back

i hate myself...

for i nv cherish the pple around mi..


esp u..

cant u see...
i really love u...


why do all this happen so suddenly...


one moment....we will hugging on the bed..luffing


the next moment...after a call from ur Gan Mei..

u telling mi tat u are goin back to church..




and now..

i jus noe....

that....

u went clubbing for so mani nites...



well...

i m nt suppose to care much le...


no more instinct...

i cant feel it...

either it isnt working...

or....


really...u aint coming back for good...



no matter wat..i m sure.....

God will be looking after you...

making sure you are safe....



i m still....so silly..

standing at the spot....waiting for ur returns....



why...



i always wish u could come back again to mi....


but...

liek i say...

after each break up...

i leaarn alot...

from you...




everytime..

you come back...things will be better...

i can promise u these...


i m still crazily in love wif u..


im still caring for u.....


i m still there if u need mi....


thanks for the changes u made for mi...

i really do appreciate it...


really...i do.....

gone~, gone~, gone~

hmmm......

aiii...

so awkward..

hw i wish i could ask her to come along to town wif us....


but....

in this situation...

i cant...




hw i wish we could share JJ's present...

but...


i cant find a reason to ask shi min...


last time i could....cos we are closely connected..


nw...

haha...


i really dunnno hw to tell shi min...



sorry for all tat...


well..at least...think on the bright side...

goin back to hu i m....

goin back to dance...

no more blinded by love...


love sux.....
hw they can turn someone into someone they dunno themself...sux..


well...

gonna make sure my next relationship gonna be better...at least...i noe hw to handle it...

no more force...


no more sulky face....


no more insecurity...
i wanna give her or him all my trust...
telling them that i do trust them sinc ei love them...

last good bye?....hw i wish....and hw i don't wish to.....


heart fighting my brain...


the onli way to move on....
will be finding ans to satisfied my heart.