each time..

when i felt it strongly..

i came here to blog about it.



its so strong....

its just so life sucking...

energy draining..

watever shit it is....




why do i have to worry for her?

why do i have to reminisce?

why do i always think that i have the chance to get her back?

why do i always feel tat stubborn confidence in me that she will be back?

why do i still keep her sms?

well that all i have. 5 smses. 1 note which is like 3 years back. memories...fading memories.


it isn't a solution to leave it aside and left untouch..

jus becos i don't wanna let it seems like i am running away from it.

but in the end.

it jus ran haywired.



I just wanna dance happily with my friend.

work happily with my friends.

and stay as family towards my mom and dad.




I am just lacking of you in my life.

i dont fucking care you are fat...

i dont care how high is your expectation on mi.




i gonna work hard.

i gonna be better than a guy.

I gonna be someone powerful.



what i get is what she gets.



to My God.

Please let this stop.

Let her have a peaceful life with him from now on.

Its nt from my heart...but....this is what it shld be!



please let her be happy....

dont let her be unhappy again.
jus for this selfish reason...
i dont wanna be pulled back into loving her again.